You love your children and want to know that you can be there for them when they need you. Part of what scares you about your divorce is that you know that they could be removed from your care more often than you’d like. You want to be able to provide for them and keep them safe, but it’s daunting to think about doing that when you’re not seeing them every day.
You’re not alone feeling like this. Many parents struggle with feeling like they aren’t prepared to let go of time with their children, even though they have to if the other parent is going to get time with their children, too. How can you cope with this kind of stress?
Remember that you need time to yourself, too
When it comes to your life after a divorce, it may be impractical to think that you can always be present for your children. You might have to work more hours or need time to relax, since you’re parenting on your own when you do have them. Don’t underestimate the importance of having your children stay with your ex-spouse, because this gives you time to reconnect with your hobbies, to relax, to work and to focus on other interests.
Spend quality time together, and worry less about quantity
How many days have you been in your home with your children but not really been “present” in terms of participating in activities with them? Most parents can say that it’s happened. Instead of worrying about losing time with your children, remember that the time you spend together can be quality time. Instead of sitting around watching TV while you’re talking to someone on the phone, you’ll be focused on your child, for example. Quality is always more important than quantity when it comes to time spent together.
At the end of the day, you can be a good parent whether you see your child three days a week or seven days a week. The most important thing to remember is that your children need you to be focused on them when they’re in your care. Focus on your quality time together, and you’ll see that you’re not missing out on as much as you feared. They will also learn to cope well if you can handle this challenge head on and be ready to find your own happiness in your new circumstances.